clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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