You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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