What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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