Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
