i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
