Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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