One girl and one boy is just not enough.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
