You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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