Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
