dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
