I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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