CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
