God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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