He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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