i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
