I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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