Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just google imaged poop.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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