its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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