That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
