I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
FUCK WHALES
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
