ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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