is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
