There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I could fuck to npr.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
