He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
