I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
