I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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