As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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