I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
