the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
My feet surprised me
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