Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
