I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
