JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
