is your mom at the bar?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
