I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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