dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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