I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
