I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
