My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
