dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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