I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
