Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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