i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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