fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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