Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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