Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
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It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
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I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize