I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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