I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
