Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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