Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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