not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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