No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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