don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
