and she was petting her beer can
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
