don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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