i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
