You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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