Yo dont text me then not text me
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
