where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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