I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Only a mothe r could love this liver
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
