i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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