you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
