Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
